i helped hand out programs at graduation tonight, for the department, and it had occurred to me before hand that this was going to be ME next year graduating, however, it didn't truly hit me until I saw the lovely ladies that I have sat next to in classes all year and talked with, cried with, and befriended walk in in caps and gowns. It was then I started to realize what two semesters means. 12 months from today I'll be walking, receiving my diploma from the good ol' chancellor himself, and on to....well frankly i don't know what. Grad school? Practicing? I don't even know! Oh how I hate change. Do I want to graduate? yes. Do I want to go on and change people's lives? Absolutely. But am I ready to leave the life that I have built here? Absolutely no. Leaving my family I nanny for, the church I now consider my home, all my friends here at housing...everything I know is here. And the idea of packing that all up and leaving it behind for something foreign and unfamillar is terribly frightening.
This could just be my complete and total lack of faith, but it's real. And I can't say I know exactly what to do with it.
In other news, summer is wonderful :) The weather is nasty as ever, but I love my jobs, I love my new apartment, and I love feeling able to breathe! Now if I could just stop living out of boxes, we'd be set :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment